Andrew Zilch

MAN IN THE BOX — featuring Dave Days (and me).

January 26, 2009 on 9:55 pm | No Comments

YouTube celeb Dave Days stopped by for some “Man in the Box” fun.

Not to be outdone, I went with the butterfly tie on pink.

LIVE DOUCHEBAGS!

January 23, 2009 on 5:48 pm | 1 Comment

Here’s a photo from the recent Runawaybox/Last Call Cleveland live show in Hollywood:

That’s Matt Zitelli, Mike Polk, and yours truly rockin’ out to the DOUCHEBAG SONG.

Good times.

WORST STRIPPER SONGS EVER?

January 22, 2009 on 1:16 am | 4 Comments

I recently attended a bachelor party held at a seedy LA strip club. Throughout the night, I wondered: What could possibly make the act of throwing dollar bills at unhappy, naked women even less sexy? Not much.

That is, unless the women were dancing to any of the following cringe-worthy tunes:

SHE’S ONLY SEVENTEEN – WINGER
“Barely legal” and “illegal” are two very different concepts. And I bet there’s an
off-duty cop in here who could explain that better than I could.

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? – BAHA MEN
It’s safe to assume that the young lady who strips to this song is either:

A) Not pretty, and painfully aware of that.
B) A diehard Cleveland Browns fan.

Or most likely, a combination of A + B.

SHE’S GOT THE JACK – AC/DC
AC/DC is from Australia where “the jack” is slang for gonorrhea. So maybe that lap dance isn’t such a terrific idea.

JANIE’S GOT A GUN – AEROSMITH
No thanks, Steven Tyler. We’ve already got enough implied daddy/daughter sexual abuse in here.

MY HUMPS – BLACK-EYED PEAS
This is a perfectly appropriate stripper song until Will I. Am contributes his lyrics: “I mix your milk wit’ my cocoa puff / Milky milky cocoa / Mix your milk with my cocoa puff…”

Is he likening his penis to a cocoa puff? Why would he do that??

IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA – IRON BUTTERFLY
I’m sure there are a few legendary dancers out there who could keep a striptease interesting for 17 minutes. But they probably don’t work here.

BRICK – BEN FOLDS FIVE
Two words not conducive to bachelor party revelry: Abortion ballad.

WHERE THE HELL IS MATT IN 2029?

January 22, 2009 on 12:39 am | 2 Comments

I don’t know about Matt, but here’s me making an appearance in a video by the talented FallofAutumnDistro.

If you haven’t seen the video that this one is spoofing, check it out here:

A BLOG IS BORN!

January 18, 2009 on 11:09 pm | No Comments

What’s that, you say? The World Wide Internet needs one more blog site from a random jackass whose ramblings you couldn’t care less about?!

Well, you can all relax now. The Andrew Zilch blog is up and running.

In all honesty, I don’t really know what this is going to be. I have no grand vision for this blog other than to post occasional video embeds, funny stories, opinions, and other things that relate to yours truly.

I try not to set goals. But if I was forced to have one for this blog, it would be to post things on a regular basis. Luckily, it’s my name at the top of this blog, so I get to define what regular basis means. That works nicely for me!!

Anyway, feel free to check in from time to time. Hopefully you’ll like what you see here. If not, I think there are a handful of other folks posting blogs around the Internet. There might be one that suits you better.

But seriously, thanks for stopping by!

Andrew

2 Girls / 1 Cup Recovery

January 17, 2009 on 5:38 pm | 1 Comment

Marty’s 2 Girls / 1 Cup Recovery

Some folks sadly confessed that after watching this video they became curious about the actual “2 Girls / 1 Cup” video and watched it. Please listen to Marty and DON’T DO THAT.

For more videos, please visit the ZilchZone.